Him. -- Self-Written

Him

Through my best friend
Screaming about how you are
Started being excited
She pointed at you
I had my first look
You entered my eyes

You stole my heart
I was falling in love,
with you
You became my everything

Every time I'll wonder where are you
Thinking about you

I miss you all the time
But I don't know your name

Cannot be described by words
I love you
You belong in another world

Continued for 2 months
You are still in my heart
You are in my mind 24 7

My best friend likes you too
Till one day
I asked you what was your name
I was hoping for your name
But it was a I don't know
I was hurt
But I didn't give up
I kept asking

Then one day
"They" asked
What was your name
He said it out
I heard it clearly
I did not know how I felt

They introduced themselves
One by one
You were friendly towards them

Why

Why

I ask myself over and over again

You were the reason for me to look forward to every session
I don't understand

They were the popular ones
I was not

Did you not tell me your name because I was not in the popular group?

You started to get closer to them through every session
I watched every single action
I listened to every single word
That came from you

You have no idea how hurt I was

Whenever I say Hi
You say hi back,
but not looking at me.
You say hi to them

You got so close to them
You tell them so much about yourself
What school you go to
How old you are
Your lifestyle
Your likes and dislikes

I sat there quietly
Looking at you guys
Happily talking

That day
After the session
I sat in the bus with my classmate
I started crying
It became a frequent habit

Crying was my saviour
You were the guy,
whom I shed the most tears for.

I don't get it
Why

One day
They found out that I like him
They told him that
He said ok
Shrugging his shoulders
Like he didn't care

I really wanted to just go up to you,
and tell you how I feel
But courage and confidence wasn't with me
I felt hopeless

It continued on and on
I kept crying

The last 2 days of the session
It was the actual performance

Because of you
I was afraid

The last day
The last time I can see you
I finally got the chance to be in your arms
A tear shed when I hugged you
I wanted to stay there
Forever
In your arms
Never to leave
But it is impossible

That hug fixed all my broken pieces

After the performance
We had only 1 more hour to leave
Leave the area
Never to return again

Some of us cried
Because we couldn't bear to leave everything behind
So as I
I cried so much

You came forward
Hug the ones who were crying
But you didn't notice me
It's broken
Once again

You continued to remain in my heart
From February till the end of March
A picture and words

Decided what's destined between us
I cried again
For an hour
Thought for 2 hours
I've decided
To give up

I told myself that I cannot stay in this pain
anymore
If not I may just die
The pictures of you in my phone
were soon deleted

It was kind of hard to put it all behind
But it worked

I do think of you once in a while
Replay each scene again
I do cry when I remember what happened in that 2 months

I want to thank you
Because of you
I became stronger

We are still friends
But you are no longer someone important in my life
Because the hurt you've caused cannot be forgotten
But I still miss you once in a while
What's in the past, is the past
I've learned to accept it with no complains